No Expectations. Wait... Really?

This Sunday, I was on a dinner and movie outing with a girl whom I met a couple of weeks ago. After the dinner, we watched a movie and when we came out of the plex, she wished to go for a stroll. That sounded like a good idea to me.

So, I parked my vehicle by the side of the road. We came out and started walking. The road was illuminated with pale street lights. Low traffic, just one or two vehicles passing every minute. It was quiet and the silence was accompanied by cool wind.

We started discussing the movie that how boring it was and how awful most of the actors were. We did that for a while. Gradually, our discussion moved to relatively sensitive stuffs. And then, there, some of these sensitive stuffs actually prompted me to write this blog.

So, this girl started telling me about one of her close friends. I am reproducing an intercept of the description given by her as it is:

“Praveen, I have done so much for my friend. I helped her in all possible ways. She was new to Ahmedabad. I helped her with money, things, helped her hunting a job, let her stay at my place etc. But, in return she is badmouthing me at my back. Praveen, even after doing so much for her, I never expected anything from her. But at least, she shouldn’t say anything wrong about me at my back. I really don’t expect anything from her but she can atleast talk to me nicely which she is not doing. Despite all good things, I have done to her, I never expect that she must return me a favour but is she supposed to behave like this? This is extremely painful, you know.” She said in a voice which was coming out of a broken heart.

I listened to her carefully, tried to console her but there was something where I could not agree with her at all. Even though I tried to understand her point of view from different angles but I wasn’t with her on a particular point. The point was when she was repeatedly saying , “I don’t expect anything from her. I don’t expect anything from her”. Was she really not expecting anything from her friend?

Really ?

Turned out, actually she was expecting from her friend, may be, not a lot but a bit, at least.

It has been told to us several times or we have read this at several places – One should not expect anything from others…. well, ideally. But, we, as  human beings, we live in a real world, so when we do some favour to somebody or if we share some kind of relationship with somebody, we end up expecting from her/him. I don’t know how to name them but some of these kinds of expectations are:

1.  I have done a favour to ‘that somebody’.  So ‘that somebody’ owes me and I have all the rights on him/her and I can ask to return my favour whenever I want.

2. ‘That somebody’ must return my favour when I am in need.

3. It’s ok if  ‘that somebody’ doesn’t return my favour but that somebody must remember my favour always and must be nice to me.

4. ‘That somebody’ should not badmouth me at my back.

5. If ‘that somebody’ cannot do any good to me, he/she must not do any harm to me.

So, whatever be the case, expectations are always there. May be the degree is different as exhibited in above five points. But for sure, it will arise, whatsoever. It is inevitable. Not only this girl, I have heard many people saying the same thing ‘I don’t expect from him or her'. But the truth is you cannot stop ‘expectation’ from arising in your heart.

So, saying ‘I don’t expect any thing from him/her’ is a false and futile statement. And I believe it is absolutely fine to expect from somebody because of the relation or because of any favor you did. We are human beings after all and ‘To expect is human’.  Infact, I would go to an extent of saying that even an unconditional love such as love of a mother and her kid also contains plenty of expectations e.g. a mother expects her kid to grow according to her guidance or atleast she wants that her kid must treat her right at any age. And yes, there is nothing wrong in it. Even though mother-kid love is supposed to be the most unconditional but evidently this love could not keep itself away from the stigma of expectation.

Hence, it is perfectly fine to expect. What is the problem in it? Why everybody keeps claiming that he/she doesn’t expect from somebody or from some relation?

Though expectation, at many instances, results in getting somebody hurt.  And when that person gets hurt repeatedly, then sometimes, another phenomenon comes into play and that is called ‘Apathy’. Yes, Apathy is that phenomenon which has ability to kill the 'expectation'. When Apathy takes control, you are not bothered about the other person anymore, you are not bothered about his/her action or words and then needless to say, expectation vanishes.

Till the time there is no apathy, you just cannot be free from expectations. All you can do is that you can try to control the degree of expectation which will reduce the intensity of pain if expectations are not met.

The Lunch...err..The Lifebox

A week earlier, around 10 in the evening, my friend Ashishbhai called me and asked if I was interested in the 10:30 pm show of “The Lunchbox” at CityGold Cinema, Ashram Road. I was totally drained out after all day work followed by some workout in the late evening. I just came out of shower and was heading to serve my starving tummy some dinner the moment he called. I was about to refuse the offer but the next moment I realized that this movie was starred by legendary , Irrfan Khan.

And the next thing I could just say, “10 min, Ashishbhai. I’ll be downstairs. You can pick me up”. Yes, I left my dinner too.

We reached CityGold, purchased two tickets, took our seats and watched this 100 minute flick. While leaving the theatre, I heard people passing several remarks. “Irfan was good”, “New chick, Nimrat did an outstanding work”.......”Man, end was not good. They left the movie so open ended”.

This last comment didn’t actually make a lot of sense to me. Contrary to this, I felt that the writer/director actually conveyed what he wanted to. Some people speculated about the sequel of this movie but I opined that even if sequel wasn’t planned, this movie had already done its job. The movie left behind few very important messages which I think I want to share.

In our life, what are we exactly looking for? We want someone with whom we can share things, no matter, good or bad. To whom our things, our doings really matter. Be it a marriage or a relationship between a girlfriend or boyfriend, we try to find that one person, who at least is there to notice me, notice my things in a special manner. To that someone, whatever I do is not just an ordinary doing but something special or something noticeable. Also, it is equally important that this someone makes gestures to let me know that I and my things really matter to him/her as we are human and we are required to be communicated. Marriage or relationship is a kind of commitment in which each partner says, “Whatever you do, will not go unnoticed. I am there and I will notice whatever you do. I would never ignore you. You will never be left alone, whatsoever.”

Turns out, this kind of commitment is beyond all materialistic commitments/pleasures which can be offered to anybody by anyone.

In one scene, Irrfan Khan tells Nawazuddin Siddiqui in the answer of a question, “My wife has passed away ......but... I have a girlfriend.” While saying this, the body language of Irrfan revealed that how delighted he was with this fact that he had someone. Though Irfan had never met her, never seen her, they just exchanged few letters. But he knew, there is someone who is there to listen to him and understand him and that elevated the confidence in him.

I realized that this feeling of knowing that someone is there for you is actually mightier than that of the physical presence of the person with you.

Though there were several other instances such as dialogues of Nimrat’s mom at her father’s funeral and then some gestures by Nawazuddin Siddiqui etc. etc. which again conveyed lots of beautiful, thought provoking ideas but things I discussed caught my attention comparatively more.

Itna To Chalta Hai

Few days back, I came across a facebook post.  The post said- At a countryside school in UP, when a teacher scolded few boys for passing lewd comments on girls, one boy among them said, “Sir, Itna to chalta hai.”

This post, rather the last statement triggered a series of questions in my mind. Candidly, it would be more appropriate to say that this post actually brought those questions  alive in front of me which were lying dormant somewhere in my mind. These questions must have been getting accumulated since I was a kid, I guess.

So when this guy says, “Sir, Itna toh chalta hai.” The first and foremost question comes in my mind "Who decides it ? I mean who decides the degree to what extent this can be done or this is allowed ?"

Not only in this case but when I go little back in time to my childhood, I can picture my classroom where everybody was deeply into taking exam. Suddenly, there was some noise at the back bench. Turned out the invigilator had caught some guy red handed copying other guy’s answer-sheet.  The guy who was caught red handed argued “Sir, Itna cheating to chalta hi hai.” Though, I was busy in writing answers but couldn’t help and the same question, momentarily, appeared in front of me, “Who decides the degree that how much cheating is allowed in the exam and how that degree is determined?”

Another incident I could recall when I was in the 6^th standard. My friend Aniket had hit another kid. Wounded kid’s father came and complained to Aniket’s father about that. I was there at Aniket’s home when this happened. Infront of victim’s father, Aniket’s father pretended to be apologetic. Once they leave, Aniket’s father says, “Bachche hain, itna to chalta hai.”
“Really? ” the same question rushed through my mind, “Who decides the degree that how much misbehave is allowed and how that degree is determined? ”

I grew up and went college to pursue higher studies.  In the very beginning of the freshmen year, some first yearites were annoyed with the ragging in the hostel and decided to file a complaint against seniors. Later a meeting was called where final year students came and tried to convince first yearites saying, “Hum log kahan zyaada ragging karte hain, doosre colleges mein toh bahut hota hai. Itna to chalta hai.”

“Really?” I said to myself and asked the same question, “Who’s gonna decide the limit?”

These incidents and many more happened and left me wondering everytime. “Who is the authority to decide the limit. And how does that authority calculates the ‘Allowable Limit’." It has always been a thing of great contemplation for me.

This reminds me of a very interesting incident which was narrated by a reputed MP during a Lok Sabha session in 2011-2012. Incident was like this in the words of this MP:

quote "

Last year, I was on a visit to a village in my constituency. I was busy listening to the grievances of the people there. Suddenly, my eyes set upon a person who seemed familiar. Soon, I could recollect that his name was ‘Madhav’ and I had helped him in the past to get his son a job. 

So, I smiled at him and asked , “How are you doing, Madhav? What’s your problem?”

Madhav replied, “Doing great, Sir. But I am so troubled with all government employees here. Everyone needs bribe for petty things. What to tell you? It has become problem of everyday. Please do something”.

Reacting to this, I ordered my subordinates to take note of that complaint and to take some immediate action.

Then I again turned to Madhav assuring everything would be all right. I further asked him, “Madhav, how is your son doing?”

Madhav smiled and described like this, “Sir, you know everything. He got a job because of you only and then he changed everything. In the last 4 years, we have prospered a lot since when you got my son employed. Now we have a large piece of land, a big house, 2 tractors, a fleet of 5 four-wheelers and thus operating a travel agency.”

I was stunned with the pace of his prosperity and asked Madhav, “Madhav, how did your son do all this in such a short span of time . As I remember, 4 years back, I helped him getting a very ordinary job in a government department.”

Madhav sheepishly replied, “ Huzoor aap to sab jaante hain. Sarkari naukari ki pagaar mein kahan chalta hai, yeh toh upar ki kamayi se hua hai.”

I said, “Madhav, just now you were complaining about the corrupt officials involved in bribery and troubling you on regular basis. Don’t you see what your son is doing?”

Madhav, again with a shameless smile, replied, “Huzoor. Itna toh chalta hi hai.”

" unqoute

This narration was really thought provoking . Again, I had those questions in my mind. "Who decides the limit to which bribe should be taken? And ofcourse, how that limit is determined?"

But this time I had a bigger question too  "Who will prevent if Madhav's son goes beyond that limit?”

(To be continued..)

The Date

Disclaimer: This blog entry is kind of light entertainment for my dear readers. I am nobody to make fun of the shape, size, colour and dress of a person. Hence, any such thing if appears is not meant to hurt anybody’s sentiment at all. It’s just a story inspired by a real incident. Hope you enjoy !

So, friends, I am back with my new post. This time, this interesting incident took place in the mega city, Mumbai.

I have a friend named Priyanka who stays in Mumbai with her roommates. Since the story really demands a full description of her, so, let me do that first. Priyanka is a good looking girl with fair complexion, spotless face and attractive eyes. She is around 5’3”. Her regular workout, recently, made her drop some pounds too which made her more fab than ever.  She has significantly above average IQ. She works with a reputed copany as a business development manager and she, undoubtedly is a hard working employee.

Ok, by now, you must be wondering what her age would be. Since, it’s rude to ask/discuss about a girl’s age, so all I’m gonna say is.. she passed her MBA in 2009. Rest, you may guess.

I believe her description so far must have made her desirable to many of my dear readers. And the important point is that whatever I have described so far is hundred percent true.

So, like any other girl, she is facing the pressure from her parents to get married absolutely asap. Her parents keep sending her profiles/pictures of guys through some reference or through some matrimony sites.

It was the background. Now, the story beginzzzzzzz.....

March 13, 2013

Priyanka came back from work in the evening and was about to change when her phone started ringing in her purse. Firstly, she didn’t notice and by the time she realized, that call turned into a missed call. But she didn’t bother to check her phone. She left her purse on the centre table in the drawing room and moved to her bedroom to change and then came out after 20 mins.  First thing she did, checked her phone.

“11 missed calls from Maa. What happened?” she asked herself with wrinkles on her forehead.

She called back. Her mom picked up the phone at the other end.

“ Maa? Are you alright? I got worried seeing 11 missed calls from you in the last 15-20 mins,” anxiously she asked.

“Yeah, I am alright. What happened to me, sweetie?” her mom replied calmly but Priyanka could sense some excitement in her mom’s voice.

“Then why so many calls?” Priyanka asked the obvious question.

“There is something very exciting, found a suitable match for you on jeevansaathi.com. This guy is in Mumbai. I already talked to him on phone. He seems to be a nice guy. His name is Shubhojit and his id is IM02...,” her mom poured it all in the excitement.

“Oh ok, so you called me 11 times for this stupid thing. You are crazy, Maa. I thought something serious happened,” Priyanka said with a sigh of relief.

“Of course, this is serious. Check his profile, plan and meet him at least once. I believe he is gonna be a perfect match” her mother said.

“Ok Maa, I’ll do that. Right now, I am hanging up. My roommates are waiting for me to go for dinner together. Ok, bye bye...,” she said.

“Listen.. meet him..for sure..”her mom insisted.

“Bye Maa. Good night,” she hung up.

She went for dinner, came back, changed and then in her blue 3/4^th and pink t-shirt, she came to her room and switched her laptop on.

After checking her emails and facebook, she logged on jeevansaathi.com

She went straight to the profile which her mother insisted to see. The description of the guy over there grasped her attention which was like this, - 5’8”, average build, fair, good looking, well educated and manager in a reputed bank.

“Not bad,” Priyanka said to herself. Priyanka was kind of impressed with this description of the guy. Profile didn’t have a picture though. Thinking that she would talk to the guy next day, she shut down her laptop and went to bed.

Next morning, after finishing her regular work at office and stores, she came back. After dinner, she called that guy.

“Hello” the guy replied from other side.

“Hi Shubhojit, I am Priyanka from Mumbai. I guess, my mother talked to you already about me,” Priyanka said.

“Priyanka??”...after an awkward pause, “Yeah yeah, I remember, yeah,”  again the awkward silence after so many yeah yeah.

“Are you busy right now? Should I call sometime later,” Priyanka asked politely.

“No, no, no...it’s fine. Am not busy. Yeah, so, Priyanka, how are you? Heard a lot about you from your mom,” he said nicely.

“I am good. Hope you have heard good things only,” she giggled. Shubhojit giggled too.

“My bad, I didn’t ask, how are you doing, by the way?” Priyanka said.

“I am good, thanks” he replied.

This is how they started and kept chatting over phone for the next 30 minutes. They decided to meet over the weekend. After a warm bye from either side, the line was disconnected. Priyanka went to bed and slept with one pillow under her head and one in her arms.

March 17, 2013

So, the weekend came. Priyanka was excited. In the afternoon, that guy called Priyanka and asked her to meet near Andheri station Mcdonalds at 7pm. Priyanka was hesitant to go as that place remains crowded most of the time but then she thought that place must be convenient for the guy to reach and then from there they would go to some other place together. So she just agreed.

Priyanka was really looking forward to this date after the influencing feedback from her mother. She took a bath for unusually longer duration, pampered herself and got herself ready for the date. She looked stunning in her white top and blue jeans with the required make-up.

At 7:10 pm, Priyanka reached near McDonald at Andheri station. The place was heavily crowded. She looked around for a fair guy with 5’8” height as was mentioned in his profile. Suddenly her phone rang. It was Shubhojit, the guy.

“Hey, Priyanka, I am reaching in 5 mins,” after saying this, he disconnected immediately.

After sometime, Priyanka saw a dark guy in white trouser and blue shirt, who was hardly 5’4”.  That guy was looking at her from a distance and was smiling at her. The next moment, he started approaching her. Priyanka wondered if she had met this guy before. Priyanka was not done wondering about this guy when that guy just came infront of her and stopped at a distance of 2 ft.

“Hi, Priyanka, right? I am Shubhojit,” he said. And excitement was vivid on his face.

Priyanka shook hands but still was confused. Her mind still had the impression of the guy as per the description in his profile ‘  5’8”, average build, fair, good looking, well educated and manager in a reputed bank’. She was wondering why would somebody provide wrong information in his profile.

“You look a lot like your profile picture on that matrimony site,” Shubhojit said and it also took Priyanka out of her thoughts.

“But you don’t look much like the description in your profile,” she said politely.

Shubhojit giggled. Priyanka got little annoyed on his shamelessness. Though she calmed herself down.

“So, where do we sit?” Priyanka asked.

“Well, this McDonald is extremely crowded, no vacant seats. Would you like to wait outside McD or go inside and wait,” Shubhojit replied.

It worked as some fuel in the fire. Priyanka got more annoyed. She had never thought that the person would ask him to sit in Mcdonalds. According to her, McD can never be a good place to discuss about such important things.

“Really? We are going to sit here?” Priyanka said and this time her irritation was visible.

“Why? What happened?” Shubhojit reacted.

“Don’t you see the crowd?” Priyanka tried to be nice and didn’t tell him the real reason.

“Ok. No problem. Let’s stroll a little. There is a nice restaurant close by,” Shubhojit said.

Priyanka thanked God and was happy that the guy was atleast talking some sense now.

Soon they reached a place which was not exactly a proper restaurant. It was more of those typical food joints where you get stuffs like pavbhaji, pulav,noodles etc. It was not an air conditioned place and humid climate was making it worse.

Needless to say, Priyanka was upset. Though she tried hard to not make it visible. She had never met  a person who was not courageous enough to put his real description on a matrimony site. Moreover,  he really didn’t have an idea that what kind of place should be chosen to sit and talk in order to know each other.

“Miss, where are you lost? What would you like to have?” Shubhojit asked gently.

Priyanka was not in good mood. She replied with a fake smile, “Nothing, I am not feeling hungry. You please go ahead and order for yourself.”

“Ok as you wish,” he grinned. This time Priyanka could behold one of his broken canines clearly.

“One Pavbhaji,” he placed the order and didn’t ask Priyanka if she wanted anything to drink or something.

Rather, after the Pavbhaji arrived, he asked Priyanka to share it in the same plate. This offer from Shubhojit worsened the situation. Still Priyanka responded nicely, "You carry on. I am good."

Priyanka was finding all of this little uncomfortable. But maintaining her decency, she was trying to hide her discomfort. Priyanka started talking to him, reluctantly. Whenever she used to look at his face, he used to smile in a weird manner which Priyanka didn’t like at all and once he winked too. That was really not acceptable to Priyanka. Though she was trying to keep her cool and was talking while the guy was busy in eating his Pavbhaji most of the time.

This wasn’t all. Next thing which happened had really turned Priyanka off.

Shubhojit asked for the bill at the joint. It was 88 rupees. Shubhojit gave 100 rupees to the waiter. Waiter came back with 12 rupees change. Shubhojit took 10 rupees and gave only 2 rupees to the waiter.

“Don’t you think those 2 rupees are more than enough for the waiter,”it was sarcastic delivery from Priyanka. But Shubhojit didn’t bother. He again smiled and continued with what he was doing.

Now, Priyanka was really furious. She was cursing herself for going out with Shubhojit. She was done with that so called “date”.

She texted her friend Deepika, “Deepika, pls gimme a call in next 5 mins. I’ll pretend that the call is from my place and something serious happened. Actually I am with a guy who is really intolerable. Rest, I will explain.. u just call me. ”

In the next 5 min, her phone rang. She pretended as planned and after disconnecting the phone, she turned to Shubhojit.

“Shubhojit, something happened at my place. I really need to rush. I will see you later. Ok,” Priyanka acted well.

“Ok Sure. Hope you have enjoyed our first date. Will call you ,” Shubhojit said.

“Yeah. I really enjoyed a lot,” said Priyanka and left that place in no time.

She was in extremely bad mood and on the way to her home she was thinking about Shubhojit. “A guy who has fake profile, no sense how to treat a girl. Once I refused, he never offer me anything again. Just 2 rupees tip to waiter. On the top of that he even wasn’t bothered with what happened  at my place. He even didn’t bother to ask. I don’t see any possibility in him.” Such thoughts were going through her mind.  

She reached home and told everything to Deepika in detail.

Deepika asked,“Did you check if he was really working as a manager in a reputed bank?” After this, both of them burst into laughter.

Next evening, her phone rang. It was Shubhojit. Priyanka picked up.

“Hi Shubojit,” Priyanka said.

“Hi Priyanka. You told me that you liked our last meeting. So, I was thinking why not meet tomorrow again. I will again take you to a nice place,” he said with excitement.

“Shubhojit, you are a nice guy. So nice that you deserve a girl better than me. So, it’s better that we don’t meet again. Wish you all luck,” she said very calmly and hung up.

“Son of a bitch,” Priyanka said in loud voice after hanging up. Deepika was just behind Priyanka and heard her conversation and also the last phrase.

Both of them laughed like crazy.

This Pain !

 

I was born to you,

With the hope that someday,

I will make you proud,

Amidst how the birth of a girl-child is talked about.

You raised me,

With all your love and commitment,

You cultivated in me, all the virtues and sanctity,

And didn’t let any vice exist in my vicinity.

You told me,

If I study well and work hard,

I will be, whatever I want to be,

And will live a good life happily.

I always wrapped myself in decent attire.

As you instructed me clearly,

I always made it a point,

To come back home little early.

I used to be careful and alert.

I always avoided going desolate places,

And if I had to go in the end,

I was always accompanied by bro or a friend.

With all these teachings,

I grew up as a bright student,

Followed everything the way you said,

And hence, was awaiting a beautiful life ahead.

But now, I am in the hospital,

Fighting for my life.

And thinking all the time, without a comma,

Where did I go wrong, mama?

Doctors will operate me,

People will sympathize with me,          

News channels will air shows on me,

But I wanna know where did I go wrong, mommy?

Culprits will be under trial,

Public will be under rage,

Demanding the life sentence or punishment more severe,

But what about the physical and mental damage caused to me in here.

I am lying on the bed

Sustaining all the injuries,

No clue if I will live a normal life again,

Mom, who is accountable for this unbearable pain?

Accused might be sentenced,

Law and order might fall in place,

I might get relieved of physical pain,

But what about the shock deeply rooted in my brain

How would I regain my trust in people,

How would I be able to feel myself safe,

How would I again aspire for a bright future,

And what will happen to the dreams, I used to nurture ?

Myriads of questions,

Seems as if endless sea.

But mom, the biggest question will always remain,

What wrong did I do to deserve this pain?

               

Charioteers of this nation

When I was a kid, my imagination could only reach to create an invincible cricket team in order to see India among the leading nations. I used to wonder- Had the Pakistan not been separated from India, we would have been the most powerful cricket team. In my thoughts, I used to make different permutations and combinations out of the top cricketers of the two countries such as Sachin, Jadeja, Shrinath, Wasim Akram, Saqlain Mushtaq, Waqar Yunus and the list went on. The most difficult part was to decide upon not only a suitable but the best captain for this dream team and I used to get confused between Wasim Akram and Mohd. Azharuddin in terms of their suitability to this responsible post.

But when I grew up, I realized it’s not only the cricket which can make India one of the leading nations, there is lot more. Along with the development in various aspects, we need a leader or team of leaders who really understands the dormant power lying within the nation and can sketch a road map to exploit it in the interest of the country thereby catalyzing these developments.

To my surprise, I had a dream few days back where Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam was the President and Mr. Narendra Modi was the Prime Minister of India. In the dream itself, I was so delighted. When I woke up, I was thrilled. I kept wondering if it is really possible for India to have such a fortune where it can see the duo as the charioteers of the nation. Whatever the case may be, I figured out that my dream has really given me the leaders I was looking for.

Presently, country is facing a difficult situation where inflation is high, GDP growth has taken a dip, high interest rates are deterring new entrepreneurs to come up, lack of influential leaders, security has become a major concern and degree of patriotism is reduced. We only catch a glimpse of patriotism when it is a cricket match between India and Pakistan preferably. On the top of all this, our own people are losing faith in India itself which is evident from the prevalent catchphrase, “Aise hi hai, aisa hi chalega.”

I remember when I was in sophomore at IIT, I asked my exceptionally talented friend, to stay back in India for his post graduation and do the research he wanted to do here itself. But he said, “Praveen, I won’t stay here because nobody gives you credit of your work here. Better I go abroad, showcase my skills there, at least people will know me.” He may not be completely right in his argument but the point is that this is the lack of faith of our own people in our own country. This faith has to be restored. And for this we need leaders. Leaders who can explain that how doing good for this country, will help each individual to evolve to his/her best and the person will get all the things he/she deserves. This process of faith restoring will have to be accompanied by a road-map to reward their faiths.

Quite often we curse our country for its shortcomings and praise countries like US. But that will not solve the purpose. Somebody has to understand the untapped potential, prepare the pragmatic solutions and most importantly implement them. And this task cannot be done by somebody who is knowledgeable in any particular domain but we need leaders who understand India as a whole, in almost all the fields be it science and technology, agriculture, education, manufacturing, defence, services, entertainment, fashion, spirituality etc.

Then, Why Dr. Kalam?

Apart from being a scientist and a technocrat, he is a visionary. He is an architect, he is a planner. He has the ability to see the country as a whole which everybody cannot do. He understands how natural resources, human resources, science, our history, spirituality can be put together to form a massive task force. He does not stick to top down approach, yet he also favours bottom up approach where a thought/an idea can come from anybody, even from a kid. He understands the hidden potential of the country and power of youth which can bring any transformation.

His unparalleled contribution in ballistic missile and nuclear science provided Indians a feeling of safer country. His efforts in satellite launch vehicles (SLVs) put India among the leading nations in space research. He is the man who exhibited his concern for rural areas and developed a tablet PC named as "Kalam-Raju Tablet" for health care in rural areas.

In an incident, Dr. Kalam found out that beryllium ore was being exported to Japan from our country and then Japan after extracting the beryllium was selling the same to US. US was making an important compound to be used in satellite launch vehicles (SLVs) but was ready to give that compound to India at high price. Soon after the intervention of Dr. Kalam, the export of beryllium ore was stopped. The point of citing this incident is to illustrate how we are importing highly priced value added products while low priced raw material for many of those products is being exported by us only. And that’s the reason that India is always in a state of fiscal deficit. One of the impacts of fiscal deficit has already been witnessed in the form of rupee depreciation this year. This incident also tells how Dr. Kalam is concerned about economic condition of our country. He is also an advocate of using indigenous technology.

He understands the geographical strengths and limitations of this country very well. He visits big cities, he visits remote villages. He interacts with real people of India and thus he is pretty close to present grass root condition of the country. He believes good education is the basis of all positive changes in our country. He influences students and people of all ages through his vast knowledge bank. Among many other big names, Dr. Kalam was also nominated MTV Youth Icon of the Year for year 2003 and 2006.

Back in 2006 summer, in United States, I happened to work with a world class team during my internship. Team consisted of two Americans, one Turkish, one Chinese and one Indian, me actually. The most intelligent and diligent team member was the Chinese guy. When I talked to him, I figured that patriotism is also a one of the major driving forces for excellence. Such things can be explained to our countrymen by philosophers such as Dr. Kalam because he has a fair understanding that sense of patriotism and spirituality enables a person to perform his duties to his best. And if, optimistically, everybody starts performing his job dutifully, this place will never be less than any western nation.

Now, why Mr. Narendra Modi?

If we have a road-map, what we need next is an implementor and needless to say Mr. Narendra Modi is a true implementor. A ruthless implementor and that is pretty much needed right now.

Being in Gujarat, I have closely witnessed the kind of developments that have occurred in here in a short span of time.

When he was elected CM for the first time, there were not good roads; electricity was not available to everyone. But now the state has become power surplus, electric bulb glowing even in remote villages. Well maintained roads, not only in city but connecting interior locations too. Whenever, I go to Kutchh for any of my wind power projects, I am amazed to see how my vehicle runs at a high speed on such wonderful roads at those desolate places. SG highway at Ahmedabad, 10-12 years back, used to be one of the most unused portions as there was no proper concrete road. But now, things are way beyond imagination. SG highway is now an excellent 3x3 road where you cannot stop yourself from speeding up. Not only that, region around SG highway is so developed that it has become the most expensive place to acquire a real estate property.

Being in energy field, I appreciate that Gujarat has become the first state to launch solar power policy in 2009 while on the other hand it is among the leading states in the wind power. Eventually, it has become the preferred destination of investors from the country and abroad.

Since, I am also working in the transport sector, I have again closely understood the kind of development Gujarat has exhibited here in past few years. In Ahmedabad, apart from AMTS (Ahmedbad Municipal Transport Service) buses, BRTS  (Bus rapid transit system) buses are running on dedicated corridors and connecting almost all the major locations in Ahmedabad. Another MRT project, Metro rail is also on its way which will not only run in Ahmedabad but will also connect Ahmedabad and Gandhinagar. I am a part of this project hence I can totally appreciate the kind of vision for such project of public welfare.

Now, highly educated people are finding good opportunities in Gujarat too. They seem to have faith in Gujarat and all because of Mr. Modi. Giant like Tata has moved to Gujarat followed by other big automobile companies. There are plenty of things to discuss though I have discussed only major things which affected the mass.

He is the leader who moves with the time, embraces modern technologies for the development. He is in the process of connecting villages through internet for education purpose. I happened to interact with him during a MoU signing session in Ahmedabad. I was overwhelmed by seeing his urge to IITians to bring in more ideas for the development in 15 sectors which included almost everything i.e. energy, oil and gas, education, transport, social welfare, youth development, healthcare, agriculture, IT etc. He was eager to implement new things/ ideas for the development of state as a whole.

And on the top of all this, Gujarat is one of the safest states. Security is not such a major concern as it is in other states. And this really requires tremendous effort to implement law and order strictly.

I myself have witnessed how warmly he welcomes a plan which in any manner could bring prosperity to his state and happiness to his people.  In another example, he implemented a concept called G-Auto where all registered auto rickshaw drivers will get insurance for themselves as well as for their kids. And these auto drivers are really happy and feel secure, I myself enquired.

All these examples explain how Mr. Modi is successful as an implementor and the best part is his ruthlessness.  Being an implementor, he also exhibits his risk taking capability. He is not a conservative leader. He is not driven by prejudice but driven by results.

Leaders like Dr. Kalam and Mr. Modi have everything to put India among the leading nations. They can restore the faith of Indians. They can inspire people to do wonders. 

In short, if such great personalities will drive our nation, certainly someday we’ll be in a nation:

Where the mind is without fear,

And the head is held high.

Shit happens again and again- last part

[So friends finally I present here the last part of the series. In the previous instalments, you saw how different incidents made Mitika angry at me and everytime our friendship had to face hard time. Hope you would like this last part too.]

Few days after the last incident, I decided to make Mitika understand that whatever she said that day was not correct. I tried to call her, initially she didn’t pick up but I didn’t give up. After some more efforts she received the call and I tried to talk as nothing had happened. She also seemed cool with that. I thought it’s better not to bring that topic again and explain my side. Sometimes, it just happens that you value your friendship over anything so much that you don’t want to defend yourself even after knowing that you are innocent. And when it happens, it is divine!

Slowly things started becoming ok between us. Being a technical student I can totally relate our relationship with the elastic nature of rubber. When a piece of rubber is compressed, the two ends of that piece come together very close and as soon as you leave it from that position rubber expands and the two ends move to the maximum separation but then both the ends cannot remain like that at the maximum separation. They again start coming close and slowly reach a normal state.

Similarly, we were again coming to normal state but this time it was taking little longer due to so many repeated incidents and their traces left in our hearts probably. Though some how we were again back to good terms.

March-2011

I was on an energy project in Aurangabad. By this time I was promoting my own startup based at Ahmedabad and Mitika, she was working at a reputed software firm in Delhi.

It was Tuesday morning in Aurangabad. And after tucking in my light purple shirt with black formal pants, I was just spraying my deo-spray all over my body. Suddenly my phone rang.

I hit the green key and it was Mitika again.

“Praveen, I need your help. Can I talk to you for a minute?” She sounded a lot worried.

“Yeah, of course, you can talk to me. Tell me”, I asked her

“Praveen, I have been given a program by my Team Lead. This program has to be converted to CSV from XML. I don’t know how to do it. Can you help me?” She asked.

“Hey, you know I am a mechanical engineer not a software engineer. How can I help you?” I replied but I paused for a moment and said, “Wait, I know somebody. He is my friend from IIT and he is very good at these things”

“Really..” she said.

“Yes, send me your program. I’ll forward him and ask him for his help,” I said

“Ok. Will send you in 15-20 minutes,” she said.

Actually, in Aurangabad, I had an appointment with General Manager, District Industrial Centre (DIC) at 11 am. After getting ready I was about to go for my breakfast and then leave for this meeting but had to hold myself back due to this urgent work of Mitika.

Within next 30 minutes, I received that email from Mitika. The moment I was checking my emails, I received another call from Mitika.

 She said, “Praveen you might not be knowing how important is this assignment for me. You see if I will not be able to deliver this assignment in time, they are gonna transfer me to Pune. This means i will have to relocate to Pune from Delhi. And since my parents, my sisters, now everbody stays here, it is really going to be very difficult for me to actually leave Delhi. And time limit I have is till 4pm today. ”she said anxiously.

“Don’t worry. I will try my best” I told her and tried to calm her down.

“I know Praveen. Thanks for being there” She was little relieved. Sometimes few words and good gesture helps a lot.

Anyways, I emailed that program to my friend Ankush, explained him the situation and requested him to do it as soon as he could do. I gave Ankush Mitika’s email id. He assured me that he would be able to really do this in time and send the program to Mitika.

Then after informing Mitika that her assignment is in good hands, I left for my meeting at 10:50 am. Since, I was already late, I had to skip my breakfast. I reached DIC but it was 11:15 am now. I was carrying only a diary and pen with me. As soon as I reached this place and enquired about GM, I was informed by a peon that Mr. GM was waiting for me and just left but will come back in an hour. So I thought it is better to sit and wait for him. Also, it was my mistake that I couldn’t make it in time. Anyways, Mr. GM came back at 1:30 pm and signalled me to come in. We started our chat but in next five minutes Mr. GM wanted to go for the lunch and wished to resume the conversation after the lunch. I again waited for next 45 minutes and he came back at around 2:15 pm. But this time he had some more visitors too. He again asked me and 2 other visitors to come in.

Mr. GM said, “Praveen, if you don’t mind, can I have 5 minutes meeting with these gentlemen. Actually they are trying to see me for last one week.”

“No problem, sir,” I said politely and with a fake smile.

On the other hand, I was also worried about the program which my friend Ankush was doing for Mitika. I wanted to text him to know the status, but when I was about to type the message, I noticed my cell phone was out of battery and with a beep, it was switched off. I thought as soon as I am done with the meeting, I will go to some telephone booth and call Ankush.

Five minutes meeting of Mr. GM had already completed 20 minutes. I was really worried, more because of Mitika’s work. I was again and again looking at my watch. It was 3:20 pm or so when my meeting again resumed.

After having a discussion of 15 minutes, I said, “Sir, I beg your pardon but can I come back to you after half an hour. Actually, I just need to finish a work as after 4 pm it cannot be done. I am so sorry but I really need to do this, Sir. ”

Mr. GM was little upset with this sudden request but probably he could actually see the anxiety through my body language and he said, “Fine go, but come back before 4:30 pm. Today, I am leaving for Singapore and will be back after a month only. So, better finish it today itself.”

With his permission I rushed and took an auto to search some telephone booth. After 3 km I got a telephone booth. I was pretty relieved and I wanted to call Ankush to know whether he had sent the program or not. But the moment I touched the receiver, I realised that I don’t remember the cell number of Ankush. It was in my cell phone only which was switched off. Neither did I have cell number of  of Mitika for the same reason. Anyways, I started enquiring about the Nokia thin-pin charger with the people present at various shops in the vicinity. But unfortunately nobody had. My throat was choked with thirst, hunger and stress. I looked at my watch again, it showed 4:15 pm. I was feeling really helpless at that point of time and also I had to reach  Mr. GM by 4:30 pm.

So, I took an auto again and asked him to take me to District Industrial Centre. In the way, I was hoping that Ankush would have sent the completed codes to Mitika in time. But since, I couldn’t talk to any of them, I wasn’t sure about what would have happened there.

Well, I reached DIC at 4:35 pm exact.  This time Mr. GM was kind enough and resumed the discussion as soon as he saw me on the other side of the table. I was talking to him but other side of mind was just praying that Mitika would have got her program from Ankush.

Well, my meeting was over by 5:30 pm. I thanked Mr. GM and rushed to my hotel. I reached there by 6:00 pm. After getting my key from the reception, I hastily entered my room, threw my diary and pen without worrying where I was throwing them and plugged one end of my Nokia charger in the power and other end in my phone. I switched on my phone.

I searched for Mitika in my contact. I was about to call her but at the same time my phone started ringing and flashed the name “Mitika”. Without any delay, I received the call.

Before, I could say anything, I heard her words.

“What the hell, Praveen.” She almost shouted.

“Yeah, I know. My phone ...” Like most of the times, she didn’t let me complete.

“You know I was so trying to call you. I can’t believe you switched off your phone. Your friend didn’t send me anything yet. You should have told me if you were not able to solve my problem. Do you understand how much I was stressed? I had already told you about the seriousness of the situation. And you didn’t take it seriously and switched off your phone.”

“No no no. Can you please listen to me first,” I requested.

“No, I won’t. This is breach of trust. Is this the way a friend cares for another. You know I waited till 5pm but neither you nor your friend sent me anything. So, I have given this program to somebody else and he’ll do it for me. So, I don’t need any of your help now,” She said furiously.

But more than her anger, something else was bothering me. So I asked her.

“What about the deadline then which was today at 4 pm? Have they extended the deadline?” I asked.

“No, deadline is after two days in the first place. I told you today’s deadline so that I can get it in time. But I am really disappointed that you don’t understand what a deadline is. And for God sake, please do not give any explanation for this. Bottomline is when I needed you, you were not there.  ” She said it with the subsided anger.

“Wow...  I was not there when you needed me. Great, you concluded it. You know what.....” I still wanted to say what I was upto but she again interrupted me.

“Whatever, Praveen. Forget it. We’ll talk later. I am not in a good mood,” she said.

“Fine,” I said and the next moment phone was disconnected from the other side. Now, I was also furious at Ankush. I called Ankush to know why he wasn’t able to send the completed program to Mitika.

“Hey buddy, I was so trying to call you up but your phone was switched off. Actually I was working on that program but suddenly all of us were called for an emergency meeting by our VP. It took hell lot of time there. I messaged you also about the situation I was into but I didn’t receive any response from you. I could have emailed your friend also but I was not with my laptop. Anyways, but , I am working on it and in the next one hour, it will be done. Can she request her seniors to extend the deadline by few hours,” Ankush said it all which made me understand the whole situation.

“Leave it yaar, it is not required anymore. And really, I am sorry I bothered you for this stupid work.” I said to Ankush.

“What? Leave it? Are you angry with me?” he asked me with surprise.

“No no no, I can’t be angry with you. Never, ever. You have been my best buddy. I am angry with myself that I asked you to give your precious time to this stupid work. That friend of mine has now given this work to somebody else. She doesn’t trust me. On the top of that she told me that dealine wasn’t today at 4pm but it is actually two days later.” I told him.

“What? I am sorry but she is such a..”Ankush wanted to say something but prevented himself.

“It’s ok. Please don’t work on that program now,” I said with a deep breath.

“Fine, I won’t work on this. But you ok, Praveen? Coz you sound little dull.” Ankush asked.

“I am fine. Absolutely. Will talk to you soon,” And I disconnected.

Now, I was sitting in my room alone. I switched on AC and TV. I was looking at TV but my mind was so not at peace. Multiple thoughts were coming to my mind.

“Am I a good friend? Was it completely my mistake? Am I really trustworthy? Is this friendship with Mitika really a friendship or it’s just me who is trying to carry the burden of this friendship?” With all such thoughts, I don’t know when I slipped into ocean of slumber.

The last nail in the coffin

The last nail in the coffin just happened few months back. Right now she is in the United States.

What I did this time... I emailed the link of the first part of this story to her too.

So, she again called.

“Why are you sending my stories to everybody? It’s ridiculous,” She said in her familiar irritated voice.

“This is the story of a character Mitika not yours.  Why do you relate yourself with this story” I said.

“You have just changed the name but story is about what exactly happened between us.” She argued.

“Whatever. I have already sent these to my friends. So I don’t think it can be undone. And it has nothing to do with you. And anyways I am not going to stop writing it,” I said.

“That’s it, Praveen,” she kind of screamed.

“Oh really. Fine,” I said. And this time I was cold but firm.

This time I was not so very keen to keep my friendship alive. I was kinda tired of being sorry every time. So then I didn’t actually reciprocate my things.

This was possibly the tragic as well as the happiest end of our story. We might still be in talking terms but that warmth will never come back, I guess. I know many would suggest me to try once more.

But I guess, the limit has reached!