This Pain !

 

I was born to you,

With the hope that someday,

I will make you proud,

Amidst how the birth of a girl-child is talked about.

You raised me,

With all your love and commitment,

You cultivated in me, all the virtues and sanctity,

And didn’t let any vice exist in my vicinity.

You told me,

If I study well and work hard,

I will be, whatever I want to be,

And will live a good life happily.

I always wrapped myself in decent attire.

As you instructed me clearly,

I always made it a point,

To come back home little early.

I used to be careful and alert.

I always avoided going desolate places,

And if I had to go in the end,

I was always accompanied by bro or a friend.

With all these teachings,

I grew up as a bright student,

Followed everything the way you said,

And hence, was awaiting a beautiful life ahead.

But now, I am in the hospital,

Fighting for my life.

And thinking all the time, without a comma,

Where did I go wrong, mama?

Doctors will operate me,

People will sympathize with me,          

News channels will air shows on me,

But I wanna know where did I go wrong, mommy?

Culprits will be under trial,

Public will be under rage,

Demanding the life sentence or punishment more severe,

But what about the physical and mental damage caused to me in here.

I am lying on the bed

Sustaining all the injuries,

No clue if I will live a normal life again,

Mom, who is accountable for this unbearable pain?

Accused might be sentenced,

Law and order might fall in place,

I might get relieved of physical pain,

But what about the shock deeply rooted in my brain

How would I regain my trust in people,

How would I be able to feel myself safe,

How would I again aspire for a bright future,

And what will happen to the dreams, I used to nurture ?

Myriads of questions,

Seems as if endless sea.

But mom, the biggest question will always remain,

What wrong did I do to deserve this pain?

               

Charioteers of this nation

When I was a kid, my imagination could only reach to create an invincible cricket team in order to see India among the leading nations. I used to wonder- Had the Pakistan not been separated from India, we would have been the most powerful cricket team. In my thoughts, I used to make different permutations and combinations out of the top cricketers of the two countries such as Sachin, Jadeja, Shrinath, Wasim Akram, Saqlain Mushtaq, Waqar Yunus and the list went on. The most difficult part was to decide upon not only a suitable but the best captain for this dream team and I used to get confused between Wasim Akram and Mohd. Azharuddin in terms of their suitability to this responsible post.

But when I grew up, I realized it’s not only the cricket which can make India one of the leading nations, there is lot more. Along with the development in various aspects, we need a leader or team of leaders who really understands the dormant power lying within the nation and can sketch a road map to exploit it in the interest of the country thereby catalyzing these developments.

To my surprise, I had a dream few days back where Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam was the President and Mr. Narendra Modi was the Prime Minister of India. In the dream itself, I was so delighted. When I woke up, I was thrilled. I kept wondering if it is really possible for India to have such a fortune where it can see the duo as the charioteers of the nation. Whatever the case may be, I figured out that my dream has really given me the leaders I was looking for.

Presently, country is facing a difficult situation where inflation is high, GDP growth has taken a dip, high interest rates are deterring new entrepreneurs to come up, lack of influential leaders, security has become a major concern and degree of patriotism is reduced. We only catch a glimpse of patriotism when it is a cricket match between India and Pakistan preferably. On the top of all this, our own people are losing faith in India itself which is evident from the prevalent catchphrase, “Aise hi hai, aisa hi chalega.”

I remember when I was in sophomore at IIT, I asked my exceptionally talented friend, to stay back in India for his post graduation and do the research he wanted to do here itself. But he said, “Praveen, I won’t stay here because nobody gives you credit of your work here. Better I go abroad, showcase my skills there, at least people will know me.” He may not be completely right in his argument but the point is that this is the lack of faith of our own people in our own country. This faith has to be restored. And for this we need leaders. Leaders who can explain that how doing good for this country, will help each individual to evolve to his/her best and the person will get all the things he/she deserves. This process of faith restoring will have to be accompanied by a road-map to reward their faiths.

Quite often we curse our country for its shortcomings and praise countries like US. But that will not solve the purpose. Somebody has to understand the untapped potential, prepare the pragmatic solutions and most importantly implement them. And this task cannot be done by somebody who is knowledgeable in any particular domain but we need leaders who understand India as a whole, in almost all the fields be it science and technology, agriculture, education, manufacturing, defence, services, entertainment, fashion, spirituality etc.

Then, Why Dr. Kalam?

Apart from being a scientist and a technocrat, he is a visionary. He is an architect, he is a planner. He has the ability to see the country as a whole which everybody cannot do. He understands how natural resources, human resources, science, our history, spirituality can be put together to form a massive task force. He does not stick to top down approach, yet he also favours bottom up approach where a thought/an idea can come from anybody, even from a kid. He understands the hidden potential of the country and power of youth which can bring any transformation.

His unparalleled contribution in ballistic missile and nuclear science provided Indians a feeling of safer country. His efforts in satellite launch vehicles (SLVs) put India among the leading nations in space research. He is the man who exhibited his concern for rural areas and developed a tablet PC named as "Kalam-Raju Tablet" for health care in rural areas.

In an incident, Dr. Kalam found out that beryllium ore was being exported to Japan from our country and then Japan after extracting the beryllium was selling the same to US. US was making an important compound to be used in satellite launch vehicles (SLVs) but was ready to give that compound to India at high price. Soon after the intervention of Dr. Kalam, the export of beryllium ore was stopped. The point of citing this incident is to illustrate how we are importing highly priced value added products while low priced raw material for many of those products is being exported by us only. And that’s the reason that India is always in a state of fiscal deficit. One of the impacts of fiscal deficit has already been witnessed in the form of rupee depreciation this year. This incident also tells how Dr. Kalam is concerned about economic condition of our country. He is also an advocate of using indigenous technology.

He understands the geographical strengths and limitations of this country very well. He visits big cities, he visits remote villages. He interacts with real people of India and thus he is pretty close to present grass root condition of the country. He believes good education is the basis of all positive changes in our country. He influences students and people of all ages through his vast knowledge bank. Among many other big names, Dr. Kalam was also nominated MTV Youth Icon of the Year for year 2003 and 2006.

Back in 2006 summer, in United States, I happened to work with a world class team during my internship. Team consisted of two Americans, one Turkish, one Chinese and one Indian, me actually. The most intelligent and diligent team member was the Chinese guy. When I talked to him, I figured that patriotism is also a one of the major driving forces for excellence. Such things can be explained to our countrymen by philosophers such as Dr. Kalam because he has a fair understanding that sense of patriotism and spirituality enables a person to perform his duties to his best. And if, optimistically, everybody starts performing his job dutifully, this place will never be less than any western nation.

Now, why Mr. Narendra Modi?

If we have a road-map, what we need next is an implementor and needless to say Mr. Narendra Modi is a true implementor. A ruthless implementor and that is pretty much needed right now.

Being in Gujarat, I have closely witnessed the kind of developments that have occurred in here in a short span of time.

When he was elected CM for the first time, there were not good roads; electricity was not available to everyone. But now the state has become power surplus, electric bulb glowing even in remote villages. Well maintained roads, not only in city but connecting interior locations too. Whenever, I go to Kutchh for any of my wind power projects, I am amazed to see how my vehicle runs at a high speed on such wonderful roads at those desolate places. SG highway at Ahmedabad, 10-12 years back, used to be one of the most unused portions as there was no proper concrete road. But now, things are way beyond imagination. SG highway is now an excellent 3x3 road where you cannot stop yourself from speeding up. Not only that, region around SG highway is so developed that it has become the most expensive place to acquire a real estate property.

Being in energy field, I appreciate that Gujarat has become the first state to launch solar power policy in 2009 while on the other hand it is among the leading states in the wind power. Eventually, it has become the preferred destination of investors from the country and abroad.

Since, I am also working in the transport sector, I have again closely understood the kind of development Gujarat has exhibited here in past few years. In Ahmedabad, apart from AMTS (Ahmedbad Municipal Transport Service) buses, BRTS  (Bus rapid transit system) buses are running on dedicated corridors and connecting almost all the major locations in Ahmedabad. Another MRT project, Metro rail is also on its way which will not only run in Ahmedabad but will also connect Ahmedabad and Gandhinagar. I am a part of this project hence I can totally appreciate the kind of vision for such project of public welfare.

Now, highly educated people are finding good opportunities in Gujarat too. They seem to have faith in Gujarat and all because of Mr. Modi. Giant like Tata has moved to Gujarat followed by other big automobile companies. There are plenty of things to discuss though I have discussed only major things which affected the mass.

He is the leader who moves with the time, embraces modern technologies for the development. He is in the process of connecting villages through internet for education purpose. I happened to interact with him during a MoU signing session in Ahmedabad. I was overwhelmed by seeing his urge to IITians to bring in more ideas for the development in 15 sectors which included almost everything i.e. energy, oil and gas, education, transport, social welfare, youth development, healthcare, agriculture, IT etc. He was eager to implement new things/ ideas for the development of state as a whole.

And on the top of all this, Gujarat is one of the safest states. Security is not such a major concern as it is in other states. And this really requires tremendous effort to implement law and order strictly.

I myself have witnessed how warmly he welcomes a plan which in any manner could bring prosperity to his state and happiness to his people.  In another example, he implemented a concept called G-Auto where all registered auto rickshaw drivers will get insurance for themselves as well as for their kids. And these auto drivers are really happy and feel secure, I myself enquired.

All these examples explain how Mr. Modi is successful as an implementor and the best part is his ruthlessness.  Being an implementor, he also exhibits his risk taking capability. He is not a conservative leader. He is not driven by prejudice but driven by results.

Leaders like Dr. Kalam and Mr. Modi have everything to put India among the leading nations. They can restore the faith of Indians. They can inspire people to do wonders. 

In short, if such great personalities will drive our nation, certainly someday we’ll be in a nation:

Where the mind is without fear,

And the head is held high.

Shit happens again and again- last part

[So friends finally I present here the last part of the series. In the previous instalments, you saw how different incidents made Mitika angry at me and everytime our friendship had to face hard time. Hope you would like this last part too.]

Few days after the last incident, I decided to make Mitika understand that whatever she said that day was not correct. I tried to call her, initially she didn’t pick up but I didn’t give up. After some more efforts she received the call and I tried to talk as nothing had happened. She also seemed cool with that. I thought it’s better not to bring that topic again and explain my side. Sometimes, it just happens that you value your friendship over anything so much that you don’t want to defend yourself even after knowing that you are innocent. And when it happens, it is divine!

Slowly things started becoming ok between us. Being a technical student I can totally relate our relationship with the elastic nature of rubber. When a piece of rubber is compressed, the two ends of that piece come together very close and as soon as you leave it from that position rubber expands and the two ends move to the maximum separation but then both the ends cannot remain like that at the maximum separation. They again start coming close and slowly reach a normal state.

Similarly, we were again coming to normal state but this time it was taking little longer due to so many repeated incidents and their traces left in our hearts probably. Though some how we were again back to good terms.

March-2011

I was on an energy project in Aurangabad. By this time I was promoting my own startup based at Ahmedabad and Mitika, she was working at a reputed software firm in Delhi.

It was Tuesday morning in Aurangabad. And after tucking in my light purple shirt with black formal pants, I was just spraying my deo-spray all over my body. Suddenly my phone rang.

I hit the green key and it was Mitika again.

“Praveen, I need your help. Can I talk to you for a minute?” She sounded a lot worried.

“Yeah, of course, you can talk to me. Tell me”, I asked her

“Praveen, I have been given a program by my Team Lead. This program has to be converted to CSV from XML. I don’t know how to do it. Can you help me?” She asked.

“Hey, you know I am a mechanical engineer not a software engineer. How can I help you?” I replied but I paused for a moment and said, “Wait, I know somebody. He is my friend from IIT and he is very good at these things”

“Really..” she said.

“Yes, send me your program. I’ll forward him and ask him for his help,” I said

“Ok. Will send you in 15-20 minutes,” she said.

Actually, in Aurangabad, I had an appointment with General Manager, District Industrial Centre (DIC) at 11 am. After getting ready I was about to go for my breakfast and then leave for this meeting but had to hold myself back due to this urgent work of Mitika.

Within next 30 minutes, I received that email from Mitika. The moment I was checking my emails, I received another call from Mitika.

 She said, “Praveen you might not be knowing how important is this assignment for me. You see if I will not be able to deliver this assignment in time, they are gonna transfer me to Pune. This means i will have to relocate to Pune from Delhi. And since my parents, my sisters, now everbody stays here, it is really going to be very difficult for me to actually leave Delhi. And time limit I have is till 4pm today. ”she said anxiously.

“Don’t worry. I will try my best” I told her and tried to calm her down.

“I know Praveen. Thanks for being there” She was little relieved. Sometimes few words and good gesture helps a lot.

Anyways, I emailed that program to my friend Ankush, explained him the situation and requested him to do it as soon as he could do. I gave Ankush Mitika’s email id. He assured me that he would be able to really do this in time and send the program to Mitika.

Then after informing Mitika that her assignment is in good hands, I left for my meeting at 10:50 am. Since, I was already late, I had to skip my breakfast. I reached DIC but it was 11:15 am now. I was carrying only a diary and pen with me. As soon as I reached this place and enquired about GM, I was informed by a peon that Mr. GM was waiting for me and just left but will come back in an hour. So I thought it is better to sit and wait for him. Also, it was my mistake that I couldn’t make it in time. Anyways, Mr. GM came back at 1:30 pm and signalled me to come in. We started our chat but in next five minutes Mr. GM wanted to go for the lunch and wished to resume the conversation after the lunch. I again waited for next 45 minutes and he came back at around 2:15 pm. But this time he had some more visitors too. He again asked me and 2 other visitors to come in.

Mr. GM said, “Praveen, if you don’t mind, can I have 5 minutes meeting with these gentlemen. Actually they are trying to see me for last one week.”

“No problem, sir,” I said politely and with a fake smile.

On the other hand, I was also worried about the program which my friend Ankush was doing for Mitika. I wanted to text him to know the status, but when I was about to type the message, I noticed my cell phone was out of battery and with a beep, it was switched off. I thought as soon as I am done with the meeting, I will go to some telephone booth and call Ankush.

Five minutes meeting of Mr. GM had already completed 20 minutes. I was really worried, more because of Mitika’s work. I was again and again looking at my watch. It was 3:20 pm or so when my meeting again resumed.

After having a discussion of 15 minutes, I said, “Sir, I beg your pardon but can I come back to you after half an hour. Actually, I just need to finish a work as after 4 pm it cannot be done. I am so sorry but I really need to do this, Sir. ”

Mr. GM was little upset with this sudden request but probably he could actually see the anxiety through my body language and he said, “Fine go, but come back before 4:30 pm. Today, I am leaving for Singapore and will be back after a month only. So, better finish it today itself.”

With his permission I rushed and took an auto to search some telephone booth. After 3 km I got a telephone booth. I was pretty relieved and I wanted to call Ankush to know whether he had sent the program or not. But the moment I touched the receiver, I realised that I don’t remember the cell number of Ankush. It was in my cell phone only which was switched off. Neither did I have cell number of  of Mitika for the same reason. Anyways, I started enquiring about the Nokia thin-pin charger with the people present at various shops in the vicinity. But unfortunately nobody had. My throat was choked with thirst, hunger and stress. I looked at my watch again, it showed 4:15 pm. I was feeling really helpless at that point of time and also I had to reach  Mr. GM by 4:30 pm.

So, I took an auto again and asked him to take me to District Industrial Centre. In the way, I was hoping that Ankush would have sent the completed codes to Mitika in time. But since, I couldn’t talk to any of them, I wasn’t sure about what would have happened there.

Well, I reached DIC at 4:35 pm exact.  This time Mr. GM was kind enough and resumed the discussion as soon as he saw me on the other side of the table. I was talking to him but other side of mind was just praying that Mitika would have got her program from Ankush.

Well, my meeting was over by 5:30 pm. I thanked Mr. GM and rushed to my hotel. I reached there by 6:00 pm. After getting my key from the reception, I hastily entered my room, threw my diary and pen without worrying where I was throwing them and plugged one end of my Nokia charger in the power and other end in my phone. I switched on my phone.

I searched for Mitika in my contact. I was about to call her but at the same time my phone started ringing and flashed the name “Mitika”. Without any delay, I received the call.

Before, I could say anything, I heard her words.

“What the hell, Praveen.” She almost shouted.

“Yeah, I know. My phone ...” Like most of the times, she didn’t let me complete.

“You know I was so trying to call you. I can’t believe you switched off your phone. Your friend didn’t send me anything yet. You should have told me if you were not able to solve my problem. Do you understand how much I was stressed? I had already told you about the seriousness of the situation. And you didn’t take it seriously and switched off your phone.”

“No no no. Can you please listen to me first,” I requested.

“No, I won’t. This is breach of trust. Is this the way a friend cares for another. You know I waited till 5pm but neither you nor your friend sent me anything. So, I have given this program to somebody else and he’ll do it for me. So, I don’t need any of your help now,” She said furiously.

But more than her anger, something else was bothering me. So I asked her.

“What about the deadline then which was today at 4 pm? Have they extended the deadline?” I asked.

“No, deadline is after two days in the first place. I told you today’s deadline so that I can get it in time. But I am really disappointed that you don’t understand what a deadline is. And for God sake, please do not give any explanation for this. Bottomline is when I needed you, you were not there.  ” She said it with the subsided anger.

“Wow...  I was not there when you needed me. Great, you concluded it. You know what.....” I still wanted to say what I was upto but she again interrupted me.

“Whatever, Praveen. Forget it. We’ll talk later. I am not in a good mood,” she said.

“Fine,” I said and the next moment phone was disconnected from the other side. Now, I was also furious at Ankush. I called Ankush to know why he wasn’t able to send the completed program to Mitika.

“Hey buddy, I was so trying to call you up but your phone was switched off. Actually I was working on that program but suddenly all of us were called for an emergency meeting by our VP. It took hell lot of time there. I messaged you also about the situation I was into but I didn’t receive any response from you. I could have emailed your friend also but I was not with my laptop. Anyways, but , I am working on it and in the next one hour, it will be done. Can she request her seniors to extend the deadline by few hours,” Ankush said it all which made me understand the whole situation.

“Leave it yaar, it is not required anymore. And really, I am sorry I bothered you for this stupid work.” I said to Ankush.

“What? Leave it? Are you angry with me?” he asked me with surprise.

“No no no, I can’t be angry with you. Never, ever. You have been my best buddy. I am angry with myself that I asked you to give your precious time to this stupid work. That friend of mine has now given this work to somebody else. She doesn’t trust me. On the top of that she told me that dealine wasn’t today at 4pm but it is actually two days later.” I told him.

“What? I am sorry but she is such a..”Ankush wanted to say something but prevented himself.

“It’s ok. Please don’t work on that program now,” I said with a deep breath.

“Fine, I won’t work on this. But you ok, Praveen? Coz you sound little dull.” Ankush asked.

“I am fine. Absolutely. Will talk to you soon,” And I disconnected.

Now, I was sitting in my room alone. I switched on AC and TV. I was looking at TV but my mind was so not at peace. Multiple thoughts were coming to my mind.

“Am I a good friend? Was it completely my mistake? Am I really trustworthy? Is this friendship with Mitika really a friendship or it’s just me who is trying to carry the burden of this friendship?” With all such thoughts, I don’t know when I slipped into ocean of slumber.

The last nail in the coffin

The last nail in the coffin just happened few months back. Right now she is in the United States.

What I did this time... I emailed the link of the first part of this story to her too.

So, she again called.

“Why are you sending my stories to everybody? It’s ridiculous,” She said in her familiar irritated voice.

“This is the story of a character Mitika not yours.  Why do you relate yourself with this story” I said.

“You have just changed the name but story is about what exactly happened between us.” She argued.

“Whatever. I have already sent these to my friends. So I don’t think it can be undone. And it has nothing to do with you. And anyways I am not going to stop writing it,” I said.

“That’s it, Praveen,” she kind of screamed.

“Oh really. Fine,” I said. And this time I was cold but firm.

This time I was not so very keen to keep my friendship alive. I was kinda tired of being sorry every time. So then I didn’t actually reciprocate my things.

This was possibly the tragic as well as the happiest end of our story. We might still be in talking terms but that warmth will never come back, I guess. I know many would suggest me to try once more.

But I guess, the limit has reached!

Shit happens again and again (part-3)

[Guys, this is the second last part of the story which I have described in two earlier instalments. In the earlier two parts, I had described how my friendship with Mitika got into jeopardy repeatedly because of the given circumstances and to an extent because of my mistakes.]

So, after the last incident in 2007, we were drifted little apart. 4 months after that incident, I was graduated and have become an engineer now. And soon, in June 2007, I started my first job in Bhubaneshwar, Orissa. My didi and jiju gifted me a new LG mobile which I carried with me. As soon as I got a new sim, I updated my new contact no. on Orkut.

One evening, I was coming back to my residence from my office. Since, my office was pretty close to my home, I was walking with my laptop bag hanging on my right shoulder, little exhausted and thinking how I had become a responsible analyst from a carefree student. I was feeling like a douche in that formal attire.

“God, I will have to put on these formals for at least 10 hours every day for the rest of my life. How ridiculous is that. I totally look papa-type. Now my enthusiasm will get buried in these stupid formals.”

With all such thoughts, I was approaching my home. Suddenly, my phone started ringing which pulled me out of my thoughts I was occupied with. I checked my phone which showed an unknown number calling.

“What the hell. These stupid Airtel people just keep bugging me all the time with their crappy offers. How many more such numbers will I have to put under DND?” I said to myself.

Anyhow, reluctantly, I picked the call.

“Hello. Listen, whoever you are. I don’t need any of your offers and you may like to know that I am going to discontinue your services as I am fed up of your calls every now and then,” I said in irritated tone and didn’t let the person on the otherside say anything.

“Hey, Praveen. It’s me. You remember.” It was a feminine voice.

“Yeah, I do. You are.....”This voice seemed familiar but I couldn’t recall at once.

“Oh God. I am Mitika. You forgot me completely, didn’t you? ” said that female. This name ‘Mitika’ took me back to hell lot of memories. I was thrilled and as well as ashamed on the same time.

“Hey, it’s you. I totally knew it was you. Where have you been for so many months?” I said whatever came to my mind while opening the lock of my room using my one hand.

“Liar. You didn’t recognize me at all. I am in Delhi. Joined a company as an IT professional. I was trying to call you for so many days but everytime it would say ‘this number is switched off’. But today, I got your new number from orkut. And for your record this is my new number which I took in Delhi, you just save it, ” she said.

“Oh really, you are in Delhi. You joined a job. Congratulations! ” I said while unbuttoning my shirt in order to change.

“Yeah. Congratulations to you as well. You have also joined a job in Bhubaneswar, I got to know through orkut.” She said happily.

She talked to me about a lot of things that day. It seemed that Mitika was now over with whatever misunderstandings took place between us earlier. She wasn’t mad at me anymore. We chatted for long like two friends who had not met for ages. This was the beginning of the revival of our friendship and slowly we were back to normal. We started talking to each other as best buddies. But how can things remain normal between us.

Incident-3

January 2008

This incident took place in the winter of Jan 2008.

My company decided to transfer me to Ahmedabad as I had completed my training and was all set to handle the live projects. So, I left Bubaneshwar on Jan 8^th. It was  Indigo, Bhubaneshwar to Ahmedabad via Delhi.

I left Bhubaneswar on the eve of 8^th Jan and reached delhi by 7 pm. I had around 2-3 hours to catch my connecting flight to Ahmedabad. I thought to call Mitika and surprise her by informing that I was in Delhi at that very time. I called but her phone was not reachable. I tried again several times. Nothing.

Suddenly, it came to my mind to call Mitika’s younger sister, Shweta. Shweta was also working in Delhi in a company. Mitika introduced me to her once. I was also friends with Shweta but not so close as I was to Mitika. Anyhow, I called her.  Shweta picked the phone. I talked her for a while mentioning how I was in Delhi and blah blah. After talking to her I again tried Mitika but still her phone was not reachable. My departure time was approaching, so now I had to move to collect my boarding pass. Therefore, I stopped trying with the thought that anyways I have informed Shweta, she will tell Mitika later that I was in Delhi and I talked to her. I headed towards the departure at terminal one.

In the next few hours, I was in Ahmedabad in a beautiful flat provided by the company. I was little tired and hence slept just after having my dinner which I got packed from a restaurant on my way from Ahmedabad airport to this flat. Next morning, I joined my office at Ahmedabad. It was a great place to work. My company also provided me a new car. So, everything was just perfect.

Well, it didn’t took me more than a week to get settled. And during these days, I was so busy that I hadn’t called anybody except my parents that too once or twice. Though I was little surprised why Mitika hadn’t called me during those days to atleast know my whereabouts.

One day, I thought I should call Mitika. I called her. Phone rang. She didn’t pick up. After an hour I called again. Phone rang but she didn’t pick up. Thinking that she might be busy somewhere, I decided to call her the next day.

Next day, I called her 3-4 times again but again no response. When I was about to give up, my phone rang. It was Mitika.

“Where are you, yaar?” I asked impatiently.

“Where are you, Praveen?” She returned the question.

“What do you mean? I am here at Ahmedabad. But where are you. Not taking my calls?” I asked.

“But how would I know you are in Ahmedabad? You never told me,” She said and anger in her voice was quite evident.

And then I realised that I had forgotten to tell her that I was moving to Ahmedabad. I thought this was the main reason of her fury. I was wrong , the main reason was yet to come.

She continued “Not only that. You came to Delhi but didn’t tell me.”

“But...”  I tried to explain but she didn’t let me complete.

She further continued, “You were in Delhi for 3 hours but didn’t try to call me once at least. Yeah, I understand you very well now. You can talk to Shweta but not to me. I thought you are different but you are also like other guys. Now, you don’t want my friendship. You have become more interested in my sister. I cannot believe this.”

Actually I could not believe that she just said that. After this, I was not in the condition to explain my side. I just kept listening to her.

She was done. She didn’t ask me my side . Soon our discussion, which was mostly a monologue, was over. Call disconnected and I was left stunned.

This incident was a major shock to our friendship. [To be continued.....]

Indian Rupee Slained – An Investigation

 [Dear Readers,  I publish here a little different stuff than my usual. Definitely, I will continue other stories which I have not completed so far. But, as of now, I present this. Hope you enjoy. I would love to have a discussion too over this article. Happy reading !]

In 2006, when I was in United states for my summer internship, every day I would wish, ‘May the exchange rate (rupees per dollar) increase!’ Of course, I was earning in dollars, therefore like a self centred moron, I wanted to get more rupees after coming back to India. That time I never cared about Indian economy and exchange rate never increased, now I care, so exchange rate never stops increasing.

If I just take a look at the rupees' performance against dollar starting from the year when I was in US i.e. 2006, statistics tells that it started from 45 INR / USD in 2006, kept going down to 39 INR/USD in 2008 and then picked it up from here to reach 50 INR/USD in 2009. Though it further started declining in 2010 and returned back to 45 INR/USD in early 2011 thus relieving Indian economists a bit but pretty soon it again started building up since then and as we know rupee reached its all time low, 56.40 INR/USD in recent days. This means now we have to spend 56.40 INR to buy one dollar while it was 45 INR to buy one dollar in 2006. Clearly, rupee has lost its value against the dollar or in other words, rupee has depreciated.

So, why did Indian currency depreciate against dollar? This was my first question to myself. I began my investigation. The very basic principle of economics operates here too which says ‘If the demand of something is higher than supply its value appreciates and vice versa’. So, if the demand of a particular currency decreases, its value depreciates. 

Now my objective was narrowed down to figure out the factors causing increase in demand of dollars vis-a-vis factors causing decrease in demand of Indian rupee.

So, here I present the major culprits:

•  Affection for Dollar – The first thing I discovered was that the dollar is the most accepted currency. Why is that? Derivative instruments are available in plenty to hedge the dollar exchange rates hence it is considered to be the best currency to do business. Most of the people consider dollar as the safest currency and this sentiment reflects the exceptional liquidity of markets in dollars. Hence, any negative movement in the market lead people to accumulate dollars. Due to the crisis in Europe, large banks and financial institutions started selling euro and bought dollars thus making dollar stronger against other currencies. Amidst the uncertainty in global market, demand of dollar has gone up. If we go little more deep, we’ll find out that the extraordinary stability in US treasury securities has developed a faith in dollar to a certain extent.

It may interest you to know that Warren Buffet too likes dollar than most of the other currencies.

•  Current Account Deficit in India - When the total import of a country exceeds its exports, the phenomenon is termed as current account deficit and the country is like a debtor to rest of the world. India is in a state of current account deficit. Now when the import of the country is higher then to maintain the equilibrium, the currency of the country has to depreciate.

If export is more then the buyers will demand for more Indian Rupee to purchase these export goods leading to appreciation of Indian rupee but current situation is just reverse.

• Economic Slowdown – When a foreign investor invests in India, he has to purchase Indian rupee to make investment in a particular market segment which again leads to higher demand for rupee and hence its appreciation. FIIs (Foreign Institutional Investors) have made considerable investment in Indian stock markets. But currently, influential world (mainly Europe) is facing recession, so they are pulling their investments out from India which again causes Indian currency depreciation.

It further leads to a vicious circle. If currency depreciates, FIIs may end up making losses in the stock market and hence it will act as a deterrent for FIIs to invest more in Indian market which in turn will cause further rupee depreciation.

           

• Indian Policy – Economic policy of India also plays an important role. Policy should encourage more FDI (Foreign Direct Investment) which is not the case in India. Though government apparently tried to do something and announced FDI in retail but had to hold back amidst huge pressure from both opposition and allies.

Apart from these, there are some other reasons too such as corruption, pro-longed inflation, scams, rising oil prices etc., though as a matter of fact, they are interrelated too.

Major Impact

• Rise in fiscal deficit. Fiscal deficit is a situation which arises when government's total expenditures exceed the revenue that it generates. 
• Rupee depreciation will cause all imported products to be more expensive for us.  Oil which is imported has already increased its price. Due to the increase in oil prices, transportation cost of goods will increase and that will be charged from the consumers only.

•  Companies with foreign debt will be heavily impacted as they will have to repay their loans in dollar.

• Travelling and studying overseas will become more expensive.

• It is good news for Indian exporters such as IT sectors as they will earn more.

Truth is stranger than the fiction

[Friends, giving a break to my previous series of blogs, I am presenting this.]

This is an incident which happened just a week ago. My friend Amrish got in such a situation which can really be a great script for a movie.

It all happened just one night before his wedding. 

That night his house was full of guests. Everybody was waiting to witness that moment impatiently. In one corner, aged people could be spotted discussing about the preparations of the wedding. In another corner, some girls were too busy with their girly talks and most of their talks was about the kind of dresses they were planning to put on. A few old ladies were trying to dictate the correct manner of the rituals to the middle aged ladies. And kids, they were totally busy in playing and running around. Happiness was in the air and the atmosphere was fully prepared to greet the new bride.

 Amrish wanted to meet her fiancé Richa that night. Amrish called Richa.

Richa picks up the call.

“Hey, how are you? I want to meet you right now,” said Amrish.

“Like right now. Really. It is 9:00 pm. Are you serious? By the way, what is the matter?” said Richa from the other end.

“Yeah, absolutely. Come, I can’t talk about it on the phone.” Amrish replied.

“Ok. Let me ask my mom and see if she allows me. I’ll call you back,” She said and hung up.

After 15 minutes Richa calls Amrish.

“Fine. I’ll come down. Mom was little worried and asked me to return as soon as possible,” she told Amrish.

“Ok. It won’t take much time. Just come over. Nehru Bridge sharp 11:00 pm. I’ll be there.”Amrish decided the time and place.

“Ok” she agreed and hung up.

11:00 pm. Nehru bridge. The bridge wasn’t so illuminated with dim street lights. Cold breeze could be felt due to the Sabarmati river flowing under the bridge.

Standing over the river Sabarmati, Amrish was eagerly waiting for Richa. Soon, he saw a Ford car with bright light approaching him which stopped by him at the next moment. And then Richa came out of the car.

“Hey Amrish! How are you? Why have you called me here at this point of time?”She asked anxiously.

“I am glad you came. Tomorrow, we are going to get married....” Amrish said and paused in between.

“Yes. And I am so excited about that. But is there any problem?”She asked sensing something.

“Richa, before I say anything, I want you to be calm and listen to me carefully whatever I am gonna say. Ok ?” Amrish said.

“Now you are increasing my heart beats, ok. Tell me what you have in your mind” Richa requested

“Richa, you should know something more about me. I mean to say....” He again paused but this time he had another reason to pause.

Both of them could behold a bunch of 8-10 people coming towards them. These people were actually running. And one person who seemed to belong to that mob, was running much faster that rest of them. Amrish got little terrified and so was Richa. It was 11:00 pm and almost no body was there on the bridge. The mob was coming closer and closer.Amrish assumed that the mob must be full of miscreants who want to harm them.

Sensing the danger, Amrish screamed, “Richa, Let’s get into the car.”

She understood and rushed inside.

The mob was coming closer. Amrish took the driving seat and put the key in the hole and ignited the engine..

That one person, who was running faster than others had something in his hand, came very close to the car. So close that the gap between him and car’s headlight was less than 5 meters. Rest of them were behind him.

Sensing the danger, Amrish put his car in the reverse gear, pressed accelerator, stopped and then again in 1^st gear, accelerated more, turned his wheels right, 2^nd gear , 3^rd gear, pressed accelerator harder and boom! He lost his control and smashed the car against the barrier along the bridge.

Next, when he opened his eyes, he found himself at a hospital surrounded by his kith and kins. He had survived numerous injuries. This evening was supposed to be the best day of his life. All these kith and kins were to see him getting married. But it was not destined to be. Richa had also some severe injuries. Only thing which was sort of a reliever was that both of them were out of danger now. This is how this young couple ended up having their wedding night in the hospital.

On the same day local newspaper published, “On the Nehru Bridge, angry mob beat a criminal brutally who was allegedly involved in shoplifting.”

Another portion of the same newspaper also said,”A car lost control and smashed against the barriers on the Nehru bridge. Reasons are not known yet. Severely injured victims have been admitted to SAL Hospital at Drive-in road.”

Shit happens again and again (part-2)

[Recap: Mitika was one of my best friends. In Nov 2004,  due to some misunderstanding, our friendship saw a phase of distrust which is described in my last blog.]

After the last incident in November 2004, I waited for some more time. As they say, time is the best healer; it worked same for our friendship. After a gap of few months, we again started chatting on internet and phone frequently. Also, once in a while she used to come to my campus. That’s how it seemed things were getting better between us two.

She used to discuss various things regarding her career, life and other matters. I used to feel proud that she valued my advice so much and even sometimes she also used to give some good advice. That’s how a connection was developed between both of us.

In short, one and half years after the Incident-1, which was somewhere around mid of 2006, it looked like  the things were again back to normal.

Incident-2
February-2007 ............

19 February of 2007 will always be a memorable day for me because this day my elder sister was going to get married. So, being her only brother, I was super excited. This was also my last year of graduation.

Since, my sister is everything to me; I wanted to contribute as much as I could do to make it the best wedding ever. I was trying to look after the arrangements as much as I could do. Shopping, preparing list of invitees, getting invitation card printed, arranging stay for the guests were some of the activities where I was totally instrumental.

Finally, the auspicious day arrived and my sister got married in a grand ceremony with great pomp and show.  Many of my friends and their parents also joined the party.

After the wedding day, everyone was relaxed and so was I.  Finishing all the post wedding responsibilities, I came back to my campus. I had been away for more than one week at a stretch.

That evening after the dinner, I was not feeling like doing anything or studying, though my exams were approaching. I was just lying on my bed and was deeply into the thoughts of weddings and various events which took place before and after the wedding.

In the meantime, somebody knocked.

“Come in, it’s open,” I said in a loud voice so that the person behind the door could listen.

“Praveen sir, you have a phone call downstairs,” The telephone attendant informed me by pushing his head through the door and keeping rest of the body out.

“Tell him that I have got a cell phone and my number is 9415440562. Ask him to call me on this no.,” I almost ordered him. This cell phone was given to me by my elder sister around one month ago as she got a new one.

“But it is she not he.” He smiled.

“Whoever. Go and tell what I just told you,” I was little uneasy on his smile.
        

Just 5 minutes after he was gone, I got a call on my cell phone. It was some number, which looked little familiar.

“Hello, Praveen” that feminine voice said.

“Hello” I said.

“What yaar, now you have got a new cell phone so you will forget your old friends, right? ” She said.

“Of course not, Mitika. Why do you say that? And also that is a not a new phone. Anyways, tell me how are you? It has been more than 20 days since we talked” I said as I recognised her voice.

“Yeah.  All because of you. In the last week I tried to call you 3-4 times but everytime your telephone attendant used to tell that your room is locked.”She explained.

“Oh, you don’t know. I was not in the campus. I was so busy with my sister’s wedding. You know it was great wedding. So many guests, so many arrangements. I was so enthusiastically doing whatever I could do since it was Didi’s wedding. It was great fun. So many relatives, I saw together after a long time. Also many of my friends could make it to the wedding. Their presence just augmented to the fun part. You know it was the first experience for me and I totally enjoyed it along with my friends.” I told her with my excitement overflowing.

“Ok, I get it. You were busy in your sister’s wedding alongwith your friends. Great, good to hear that. You must be tired now. Get some rest. I gotta go, by the way.” She said and this time her voice was totally dry with no interest in talking to me further.

“You going, what happened. Just now you called and we haven’t talked enough...” I asked.

“Nothing, just some work. Talk later, bye.” She said and didn’t wait for my ‘bye’ and hung up.

Wondering what was wrong with her, the moment I put my cell phone in my pocket, it just flashed in my mind the reason of this sudden change in her behaviour. I realized that I had committed a mistake rather a blunder. I realised that I had forgotten to invite her in my sister’s wedding. Damn it!

“How could I just forget to invite her? She is one of my best friends. How did it really happen? I am just a jerk,” I cursed myself.

“I will tell her that it was because I am the only brother of my sister so I had loads of work hence it just slipped from my mind. May be I can tell her that I went to her home but nobody was at her home to receive the invitation card. Or I can tell her that not many friends could make it to the wedding, only few neighbhours came as all of it happened so fast. Or I can tell her that it wasn’t a grand ceremony, only a small gatherings of some close relatives. “I was just exploring all the options which could possibly convince her why I could not invite her in the wedding.

Finally, I figured out some excuse and decided to call her and tell her the reason why I could not invite her. I decided to call her the next day and explain the thing.

Next day, it was 9:30 pm and I was just flipping my cellphone with little nervousness. I was planning to call her but I was little scared with the thought ‘what if she won’t buy my excuse.’

Anyways, gathering all the courage, I called her. I was fully prepared to pour in front of her whatever story I could develop.Suddenly, caller tune of her phone discontinued and I heard “Hello” . It was some mature voice.

“Hello Aunty. This is Praveen. Can I talk to Mitika if you don’t mind?” I asked politely.

“Haan Beta, of course you can. Why would I mind? Wait, let me call her,” she said and called her in a loud voice.

“Beta, she is coming. By the way, is everything fine? Today, Mitika looked little sad. Is there any problem with her? Do you have any idea, Beta?” She asked.

“Yeah aunty, everything is fine. But if you feel so, I will talk to her and will surely try to find out the reason of her sadness. Don’t worry aunty,” I said but on the same time I was really ashamed of me as I totally knew the reason and I was the culprit.

“Ok Beta, she came. Talk to her. Take care. Good bye,” She said and went away after handing the receiver to Mitika.

“Hi Mitika, how are you?” I asked in a voice as if nothing happened.

“Do you really care?” She replied. And with this statement, a bomb was dropped.

“Yeah, yeah, of course. What do you mean...” My voice was stumbling.

“Look Praveen, you are a great guy and of course I do not intend to teach you anything. But only thing I wanna say is that if you call somebody your friend or probably your best friend then that person gets a right to share your joy and grief both. She will be the happiest person accompanying you in your happiness. This is called friendship...” She explained. This time her voice was very calm and sad.

“But...” I tried to interrupt so that I could put across my clarification but couldn’t succeed as she had something more to say.

“And you know what it hurts when you get to know.... Well, leave it.” She didn’t complete her sentence.

“But..” I again tried.

“Ok fine, I’ll call you later. Gotta go.” She said.

“No, but...”I tried again but figured out that the line was disconnected.

I thought to call her again but could not gather the courage this time. I thought she would call once she would get over with all these things. But I was wrong, she never called.

It’s not that I didn’t try from my side. I called her couple of times but everytime one of her family members would pick the phone and told me that she was not at the home.

So, was this the end of our friendship? Maybe.... (To be continued)

Shit happens again and again

In our lives, sometimes, some sequence of events lead to serious misunderstandings.
How serious…. I tell you a story.

I have a friend, Mitika. We are or maybe I should say that we used to be good friends. I met her when I was in the first year of my college life at IIT Kanpur. Since then we share this relationship of friendship. Just for the clarity, she wasn’t from my college. She was from some other engineering college in Kanpur. Good height, slim, fair and sharp features. I met her when she came to my campus for her project work in the summer of 2004. We totally liked each other’s company as one thing was common between us; both of us were hard-working or at least she used to think so about me :) But yes this girl was really a very hardworking, intelligent and of course I have already had described her beauty.

This girl is very special to me. Why? Not because of her beauty and other qualities but because of the fact that despite all my efforts, every time something happens which shakes the trust between two of us. I would like to start with the first incident.

Incident-1

November 2004

I was in the 2nd year of my college. At IIT Kanpur, we used to have inter-collegiate cultural festival known as Antaragni. It was a grand fest where students from all over the country used to participate.

Few days before this fest at around 5:30 pm, the telephone attendant came running to me when I was in my room in a semi-sleepy condition after a hectic day.
“Praveen ji, you have a call. Guess, some lady is there” he said
“Is she my mom?” I asked.
“She didn’t tell me but I guess she was younger” he said.
“Really”. I said. Now my eyes were wide opened
I rushed to attend that call.
"Hello" I said.
"Hello, oh you came. Hope I am not disturbing you" she said.
"No, of course not. I was just sitting in my room doing nothing and just yawning. Good that you called. But who is this, by the way?" I said.
"Hey you forgot me, this is Mitika. How can you not recognize my voice this time?" she said.
“Oh I am so sorry. I told you I was in semi-sleepy mode. That’s why I could not figure out. Now, I am awake. Totally” I put my point forward.
"Ok. So, tell me why did you call me" I asked her.
"Can't I just call you without any reason?" she said little irritated.
"Yeah, why not. Of course you can" I said pacifying my previous statement.
"I just called you to ask you that how are you doing these days" she said softly.
"That's so nice of you. Thank you. I am good. How are you?" I said swiftly.
"I am good. Actually Praveen..." she said and stopped and I could figure out little hesitation in her voice this time.
"Yeah, tell me" I tried to help her.
"I have heard that next week this grand fest Antaragni is going to take place at your college. And I have heard a lot about this fest. Lots of colleges from all over the country participate, lots of grand events are organized, some celebrities are also invited etc. etc." she continued yapping for the next 15 minutes.
"That's right" I said after I realized that she was done.
"So I was wondering if you can take me to this fest this time, if it is okay with you" she said in a single breath.
I wasn’t expecting this. ‘No’, ‘yes’, ‘not this time’, ‘why not’, ‘this fest is not so great’, ‘this fest is really awesome and you should really see it’ etc. etc. thoughts came to my mind simultaneously. Seriously I did not know what to say.

"Ok fine. You can come. No problem at all" It just came out of my mouth, I don’t know how.

“Oh really, I can come. I am so happy. You know I was thinking how to ask you. But thanks a lot. Ok then, I’ll see you there.” she said in a voice filled with joy.

“Sure, see you then. Bye” I said and disconnected the phone.

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to do that but since I promised her so I decided to show her some good events in the cultural fest.

Antaragni was going to kick off on the Thursday of the next week. I had the list of the events which were going to take place in that fest. After having a look at that list, I figured out that the 3rd day of the fest which was Saturday had the most exciting events. So, I decided to ask Mitika to come on Saturday of the next week.

Next week came rather Wednesday of the next week came. Mitika was also waiting for my phone call. So after my classes in the evening, I called her from a telephone booth beside my hostel.
“Hi Praveen, I was waiting for your call.” she said happily.
“Ok. I called you up to inform you that you should come to my campus on Saturday as many exciting events are lined up that day” I said
“Ok. Sure. I will. By the way, which color dress should I wear ?” she asked in a very excited voice.
“Oh, I really don’t have much idea about these things. Put on whatever suits you more” I replied.
“Praveen, you are so….By the way, what time on Saturday?”She asked.
“I’ll give you a call on Friday evening or Saturday morning to confirm the time. Ok. Bye for now” I said and disconnected the phone.

I had listed down all the good events where Iwanted to take her. Some of them were the mime show of ‘The Dramatics’, the fashion show “Ritambhara” and the “Sonu Nigam” live performance . So, everything was well planned from my side.

Friday came. It was 10 pm and I was about to inform Mitika to come to campus next morning at around 11 am. But at that moment telephone attendant of my hostel came to me and informed me that I had a phone call from my home. My mom informed me that my grandfather was seriously ill and wanted to see me. She asked me to come to the hospital in the morning which was in the Kanpur city and far from the campus. And she also wanted me to stay there in the hospital. My mom knew that it was fest time in my college so I would be able to come without disturbing my studies.

Now this situation was really a tough one. I had my commitment with my friend and now this family matter which has always been a priority for me.
Anyways, I decided to go see my grandfather. Now the Goliath task was to ask Mitika not to come. Of course, I could just tell her the real problem but there was a possibility that she might think it to be a false excuse so that I would not have to take her to the fest. Somehow, I convinced myself that I would call her in the morning and explain the situation. She would definitely understand.

In the morning, I called her up. With great excitement she picked up the phone.
“Hey, Praveen. I was just sitting near the phone waiting for your call. You know what I have selected to put on, a purple blue dress with matching designer ear-rings and matching sandals. Great, isn’t it? So, when should I come to your campus? ” she said innocently.
I was really feeling bad as I was going to break her heart. However, I decided to tell her everything. In the meantime, I pictured her in the purple dress in my mind.

“Mitika actually I am sorry that I cannot ask you to come to my campus” I said with a low voice.
“Why? Why not?” she was puzzled
“Because my grandfather is seriously ill and I am just going to see him in the hospital. So I myself will not be in the campus. I am feeling bad while I say this. But this is the truth. I am sorry” I told her in an almost begging voice.
“Oh really, this is sad. I was so looking forward to it. But..it’s Ok. You go ahead. Go and take a good care of him” she said and disconnected the phone.

After this she did not call me for next two months. Later from her friend, I got to know that she was not convinced by the reason I told her for not taking her to Antaragni. Instead she was of the opinion that I made an excuse. Her friend also informed me that she had specially purchased that purple dress only for the fest. This was the first incident which had shaken the faith in our friendship for the very first time. And after this for another three months she did not call. Even I tried to keep our friendship alive by calling her twice but her cold response always indicated that warmth in our friendship was gone. (To be continued....)